Tuesday, March 30, 2010

How can I double tap if I have to wait?

When I was young ...

I hate to admit it, but … I think I might be getting old.

I've been pretty proud of myself to this point in not having used phrases like “when I was young” or “used to be” or “back in the day.” Unfortunately, those phrases seem to be slipping forth more and more frequently.

Ironically, they slip forth considering something I was once on the cutting edge of – the Internet. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not about to spew some crazy rant about how the Internet is just full of smut and garbage and should be outlawed. Heck, those are two of it's best qualities. No, my issue with the “series of tubes” is that it's impersonal.

I've been doing a lot of hunting lately. Not the type of hunting friend and fellow columnist Bob Confer does. I've been job hunting. And apartment hunting. And … well, we'll just leave it at job and apartment hunting.

The Internet makes it easy to find potential jobs. And potential pads. But finding and securing are two totally different things.

I think I got the apartment thing set. I think. Please, God, let this apartment thing work out.

Anyway … it's really the job thing that I'm frustrated with. See, the problem with job hunting on the Internet is there's no personal contact. How can I dazzle someone with my personality if they never get to actually talk to me?

Typical job hunting experience goes like this:

N Check craigslist for jobs.
N Send resume to unknown person concerning some unknown job at an unknown company because it sounds like I might be qualified.
N Hope the unknown person emails back and asks for more information.
N They don't.
N With no idea who it is I've sent the email to or how to get them on the phone, it's basically impossible to check up … so … Start back at the top.

Maybe I'm no good at creating resumes. Or maybe it's the cover letter. Or maybe I'm just easier for people to understand in person.

For those of you who text, have you ever gotten a text message and wondered if it was meant to be sarcastic or not? Or just wondered the tone in general?

Since sarcasm is my true native tongue, it's impossible to really know me without a face-to-face. And I'd guess it's really impossible to know anyone without a face-to-face.

So why are employers doing it this way? All impersonal like?

I have to wonder if maybe they don't want people working for them. By that, I mean they don't want real people. With personalities. They're more interested in automatons. Robots. Or, at least their human equivalents.

If that's the case, I'm kind of up a creek. And the paddle factory replaced everyone with robots who don't care if I'm up a creek or not.

Is it possible that the Internet - designed by Al Gore to keep us connected – will actually just push us further apart?

(For those of you who don't know me … the Al Gore bit in the previous paragraph was sarcastic. See how that might not come across so well in print?)

Anyway, it's hard for me to admit it, but I might not like the way the Internet works these days. I liked it better when I was younger. Walking uphill to school. Both ways. In the snow. Without shoes.