Monday, July 21, 2008

Reason show notes 072108

Random fact: The company that manufactures the greatest number of women's dresses each year is Mattel. Barbie's got to wear something.

Speaking of Barbie, Scott discussed Mattel's new WNY edition Barbies.

"Williamsville Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only in the Walker Center .. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV and long-haired foreign dog named Honey. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.

Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version

"Amherst Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

"South Side B-Low Barbie"


This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Clarence Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

"Cheektowaga Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety-Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Olean Barbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Wellsville Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home or 1980 Camaro.

"Lewiston Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow .. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Lewiston Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Falls Chick Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Chippewa Barbie/Ken"


This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.


Plus Scott found an S&M Barbie online ... I can't tell if it's legit or not, though.

Of course, the show started on a more cerebral note ... discussing John McCain's visit to WNY and taxpayers picking up the tab for the added overtime for police.

Plus, Scott notes some interesting news items:
  • NIAGARA FALLS — A Pierce Avenue man suffered two skull fractures, a nasal cavity fracture and a deep cut to the forehead when he was attacked during a dispute with neighbors of his brother just before midnight Saturday, police said.
  • NIAGARA FALLS — A 33-year-old man told police he was stabbed Sunday morning after answering the door of a Ninth Street home.
  • BUFFALO — Buffalo police are investigating an attack on a disabled youth who was jumped and beaten unconscious Sunday afternoon when he walked out of a store on Northland Avenue and Hager Street.
  • BUFFALO — A man reported to police that he was mugged at knifepoint Friday night on Johnson Park in downtown Buffalo.
Is gas too expensive for drive-by's these days?